Loss, Grief and Mourning

The life force itself is expressed everywhere as impermanence. The embrace of life therefore feeds on itself and is ultimately consumed. As Dylan Thomas the poet puts it: “the force that through the green fuse drives the flower is my destroyer”. Seen as a psychological and spiritual task, the suffering of loss through grief is our natural reaction to the sometimes brutal mystery of life in nature… that being death. We must all come to terms with our own experience of death. This includes an appreciation in the life passage a conscious recognition of our own death. We experience grief when we suffer our losses. There are many losses one can experience in life, and because of this the extent and process of grieving (and mourning) may be complex for each individual. The death of a loved one and the resultant emotional storms of grief suddenly thrust one into an overwhelming encounter with death. The denial of loss and grief is unhealthy, sometimes culminating in the collapse of the ability to move on constructively. Within the trusting container of one’s psychotherapy, grieving and mourning can foster a transformative experience bringing new perspectives on life allowing one to participate with greater compassion and depth. The task of our mourning is to embrace the value that was invested in the person who has died. One bears the heaviness of the grieving ordeal and at the same time honors the authenticity of its value. This can be accomplished by giving life and expression in one’s own present life the values and meanings which sprang from the life of the deceased. We find meaning in the loss and this helps us to participate in our living with the ability to cherish the moment, see the beauty in life, form meaningful choice, and open oneself to love.